Blame It On The Pickle
by oldhollywoodbaby
Summary: When Buddy sprains his foot, he makes all of his co workers a list of chores to do for him and because of this, they have to work over time at Rob's house. This is another collab with Fiddlegirl!


It was a Friday morning in the Petrie kitchen when Laura was cleaning up and Rob was finishing his breakfast.

"That was a delicious breakfast, honey!" Rob exclaimed.

"I'm so glad you liked it!" Laura replied.

"I would love to have more, but I have to go and make some money," Rob added, getting up from his chair and leaving the kitchen.

In the office…..

As usual, Rob was the first one in the office. He was typing on the typewriter when Sally and Buddy came in the office.

"Now Buddy, take it easy!" Sally ordered.

Sally was helping Buddy onto the couch and Rob was curious to know what was going on.

"Good morning, gang! Sal, what's going on?" Rob asked.

"Good morning to you, too! I was just helping Buddy get comfortable on the couch," Sally told him.

"Well, why?" Rob asked again.

"Wanna know why? It's my wife's fault!" Buddy exclaimed.

"What did she do?" Rob asked once more.

"Okay, Rob, since you're doing all of the asking, I'll tell you! Last night, my wife cooked dinner. She cooked the worst meal I've ever had last night! She made some burnt tomatoes, boiled rice, and boiled shrimp with basil! So a few hours later, I believe at one in the morning, my stomach started feeling funny and I thought this was nothing so I went back to sleep. Then, at six in the morning, I woke up again realizing I had to throw up! So I went to my bathroom and then there is this stool in the bathroom where I've stubbed my toe on before. I didn't see that it was still there, so I tripped over it and now my foot hurts," Buddy explained.

"Well, did you tell Pickles about it?" Rob asked.

"Yes, Rob! She's my wife!" Buddy yelled.

"You don't have to get so excited," Rob replied.

"I would also like to add that she didn't know how to take care of it! Then, this is where Sally came along. Tell him how you got involved, Sal," Buddy added.

"So, I was enjoying my peaceful sleep! My cat was being quiet and I was having the best dream featuring Cary Grant! Then, I woke up because the phone rang and I had no idea of who could be calling at six in the morning, so I pick up and it's Buddy calling me. Buddy asks me to come over and help him with his foot so I come over and I set up an appointment for the doctor and luckily we were able to go before we came here," Sally explained.

"How did that go?" Rob asked.

"Well, the doctor said he'll be fine. He just needs to relax for a few days and then he could be back on his feet," Sally told him.

"Sally, can you massage my foot?" Buddy asked.

"Massage your foot? Buddy, I am not touching your feet! It's bad enough I had to get up at six in the morning when I could've slept for another hour or two," Sally replied.

"While I was waiting on Sally, I wrote a list of things for both of you to do," Buddy said, pulling out two pieces of paper and giving them to his co-workers.

"Buddy, this is a long list! You know we have to get work done and we haven't come up with a new idea!" Rob exclaimed.

Mel then came in the office.

"Rob, Alan wants to see you," Mel told him.

"Hey Mel, you're going to have to tell Alan to wait," Rob told him.

"Why is that?" Mel asked.

"I have a bit of a problem here," Rob replied.

"Here Curly, I have a list for you too!" Buddy exclaimed, pulling out another piece of paper as Sally took the paper from him and gave it to Mel.

"What's all this about?" Mel asked.

"Buddy got injured so he's making us do things for him," Rob explained.

"Aw, it must be sad that the trained ape can't stand up," Mel teased and began snickering.

"Look, uh ah uh…...darn it! I can't make an insult!" Buddy shouted as Mel was still snickering.

"Now Buddy, relax!" Rob exclaimed.

"Big deal! You don't have any insults in your mind!" Sally added.

"This is a long list too," Rob complained reading the list Buddy gave him.

"Why are you so extra?" Mel asked.

"How dare you ask me that! How would you feel if I asked you, why are you so bald?" Buddy asked angrily.

Mel then stormed off and slammed the door.

"Buddy, you need to calm down! You'll be fine," Rob told him.

"I need two fine feet to be making jokes! I only have one fine foot," Buddy replied.

"You can make jokes by sitting down too," Sally told him.

"Sally, read the first thing on your list," Buddy ordered.

Sally looked down to read the list.

"Order me five donuts," she read.

"Get to it!" Buddy shouted.

"You have an injured foot, not two injured feet," Sally replied, annoyed.

"I'll tell Alan on you!" Buddy threatened as Sally started dialing.

"Now that is not very nice! Buddy, you can take care of yourself!" Rob exclaimed.

"I believe you have work to do too, Rob!" Buddy replied.

"We all do," Rob told him.

"The list! The list!" Buddy shouted.

Rob silently read the list.

"Oh God," he whispered.

A few hours later at the office…..

"Buddy, we've been doing your orders for seven and a half hours and we haven't gotten any work done for next week's sketch," Rob told him.

"Yeah, Alan is going to fire you and then Rob and I will quit," Sally added.

"Can we please take a break from your orders so we can work on the sketch?" Rob begged.

"Oh, you wanna work on the sketch, huh? Well, too bad! I have more for you to do!" Buddy replied.

"Great, just great! I wanted to work on the sketch today!" Rob complained.

Just then, Mel came in the office again.

"How's the script coming along? Alan wants it done," Mel told the writers.

"Mel, we're not finished," Rob replied.

"Not finished? Rob, you had the entire day!" Mel exclaimed.

"I know, but there is a certain someone who's keeping us busy," Rob replied.

Mel turned to Sally.

"Sally, if you are the reason why the sketch isn't done, we're going to have serious problems," he told her.

"It wasn't me! It was Buddy!" Sally yelled.

Mel then turned to Buddy.

"Listen you elephant, you are keeping your co-workers from working! Your list has gotta go," Mel angrily told him.

"No, absolutely not," Buddy replied.

"What are we going to do?" Sally asked.

"We're going to have to work overtime! That's what we're going to have to do," Rob replied.

"Rob, how about your house?" Mel asked.

"Sounds great! I'll see if that's okay with Laura," Rob said, dialing his house phone.

"I hope we can get the sketch done quickly," Sally said.

"Hi honey! Buddy, Sally, and Mel are coming over! Is that okay? It is? Okay, we'll be home soon! Bye, I love you," Rob said, hanging up the phone.

At the house…..

Laura was sitting on the couch and watching TV when Rob and his work friends came home.

"Hi honey!" Rob shouted.

Laura got up from the couch to kiss her husband hello and greet everyone else.

"How was everyone's day?" Laura asked.

"A disaster," Sally replied.

"Horrible! I sprained my foot!" Buddy complained.

"Oh, I'm sorry to hear that! Here, let me help you, Buddy," Laura replied.

"Laura, you don't have to help! I'll take care of him," Sally told her as she was taking him to the couch.

"So, you're working late?" Laura asked.

"Yes, and we wouldn't be if it weren't for him," Mel told her, pointing at Buddy.

"Well, you all can get comfortable! I have some spaghetti on the stove!" Laura exclaimed, going into the kitchen.

"Can you three get the sketch done quickly?" Mel asked.

"I would like to, Mel! I have to bathe my cat! It's Friday!" Sally exclaimed.

"Why would you have a schedule for bathing your cat?" Mel asked.

"It works, Mel Cooley! You should try it sometime!" Sally replied in annoyance.

"I'm sorry I even asked," Mel apologized.

(Time skip)

Laura was serving coffee and cake.

"Are you all still working?" Laura asked.

"It's so hard working when your injured friend acts like a child," Sally replied.

"Why don't you all come over tomorrow and work on it?" Laura suggested.

"That would be a good idea, but there's one problem," Sally told her.

"What do you mean, Sal? I think that's a good idea," Rob said.

"It's not that. Buddy and I took a cab this morning and Rob was the one who drove all of us here," Sally explained.

"So, I'm basically stuck here?" Mel asked.

"I could drive you guys home," Rob offered.

"That's a good idea," Sally told him.

Rob went to the garage to check if his car still had any gas left. As he was doing that, the car broke down. Rob then came back inside to tell everybody the news.

"So gang, my car broke down and I have to call to get it fixed. So, you have no choice but to stay here," Rob announced.

Sally and Mel were not happy with the news, while Buddy on the other hand was thrilled.

"We have to sleep here?" Sally asked.

"I have a wife I have to get home to!" Mel exclaimed.

"Mel, call your wife," Rob told him.

"Rob, I'm not wearing the same dress tomorrow," Sally told him.

"What's wrong about that?" Rob asked.

"Yeah, what's wrong about that?" Buddy repeated.

"Oh, women!" Mel sighed, dialing the phone.

"I can let you borrow some of my clothes! I was planning on giving away some clothes of mine that I didn't want anymore! They're all in the bedroom, just don't take the one's on my bed because I'm giving those to Millie," Laura told her.

"Okay, why don't we do an outdoor sketch?" Buddy asked.

"Hey, we've never done something like that! That's a good idea!" Rob exclaimed.

"For the opening monologue, Alan could talk about how the outdoors are nice and you can get some fresh air," Buddy suggested.

"Hey, there we go! Why didn't you suggest that while we were at the office?" Rob asked.

"Well, my mind went blank!" Buddy exclaimed.

Rob chuckled at the response. Just then, Sally came out in a completely different outfit of Laura's. She was wearing a white sheer blouse with olive green slacks.

"Fellas, I need your opinion," Sally told them.

"Isn't she pretty?" Laura asked, smiling.

"Laura, I like it, but it's a little tight," Sally told her.

"I think you look cute," Rob said.

Just then, Laura stopped smiling. She wasn't very happy about Rob complimenting his work friend.

"Very cute, Sally," Mel said, hanging up the phone.

"Damn Curly! You have a wife! Don't hit on a single woman!" Buddy teased.

"I was giving her a compliment! There is nothing wrong with that," Mel replied.

"I think you like it a little too much," Buddy added.

"Buddy, stop it!" Rob exclaimed and turns to Laura.

"Do you see that we have to treat him like a child?" Rob whispered in her ear loud enough for Sally to hear.

"Like a child? He is a child!" she exclaimed.

"Oh honey, I have to tell you something," Rob told Laura, pulling her into the kitchen.

"So do I," Laura added.

In the kitchen…..

"What was that?" Laura angrily asked.

"What was what?" Rob asked.

"Don't act like you don't know!" Laura exclaimed.

Rob then figured out why his wife was mad.

"Wait, I know why you're mad! It's because I complimented Sally on your clothes!" Rob exclaimed.

"Rob, you said she looked cute!" Laura exclaimed.

"Just because I said she looked cute doesn't mean I have an interest in her. I was saying that to make her feel better," Rob told her.

"You could've used other words! You could've used nice or good!" Laura complained.

"I'm sorry, honey, I didn't know it upset you that much," Rob apologized.

Laura put her arms around him and kissed him on the lips.

"It's okay, Rob, you're allowed a mistake," she replied.

"Honey, I have something I have to tell you," Rob said.

"What is it?" Laura asked.

"I was going to take everybody home and my car broke down so they're all going to have to stay here," Rob told her.

"Well, we can always take my car," Laura suggested.

"Your car got towed, remember? You got into that accident," Rob added.

"I keep forgetting that," Laura said.

"So they're going to have to stay here tomorrow," Rob repeated.

Laura was not thrilled to hear the news.

"So, we're going to have to spend another night with Buddy?" Laura asked.

"If we were able to stand a week with Buddy, we can stand another night," Rob said.

"Where's everyone going to sleep?" Laura asked again.

"I'll figure that out," Rob replied.

(Time skip)

"Okay folks, it's about time we figure out our sleeping arrangements!" Rob announced.

"I'm sleeping here! I can't move!" Buddy exclaimed.

"Buddy, it's my house. I'm the one who figures out the sleeping arrangements," Rob said.

"Rob, I don't see anything wrong with him sleeping in the living room," Sally told him.

"Well, look at him, Sal! He needs to be comfortable so he can rest his foot and my couch is not the best idea for it," Rob replied.

"You can have him sleep in the guest room," Laura suggested.

"Sally, can you sleep with me tonight?" Buddy asked.

"Sleep with you? Buddy, you've got to be out of your mind!" Sally exclaimed.

"Please?" Buddy begged.

Sally gave in right away because the more she would say no, the more Buddy would beg her and she would not want to deal with that.

"Alright, I will sleep with you tonight," Sally said.

Buddy smiled.

"You know, you just made me very happy," he told her.

"Where am I going to sleep in? The garage?" Mel asked.

"Actually, that's a perfect idea! It would be very good for your bald head," Buddy teased.

Mel glared at him.

"Another thing Curly, I-uh dang it! Not again!" Buddy added, forgetting his insult.

"Mel, you can sleep in here," Rob told him.

"Wait a minute! So, you let him sleep in the living room and you won't let me?" Buddy asked.

"Well, he doesn't have an injured foot!" Sally replied.

"Oh, now I see! It's all because I have an injured foot and he doesn't," Buddy said, crossing his arms.

That night…..

Buddy and Sally were sleeping together in the same room. Sally wasn't having trouble with sleeping in the guest room while Buddy was having insomnia. He woke up Sally because he couldn't take it anymore.

"Sally! Sally, wake up!" Buddy exclaimed, shaking her.

"Oh Cary! If only I could be in your arms once more! I'll let go, I promise,"Sally said in her sleep.

"Aye Sal, quit dreaming! I'm having some trouble here!" Buddy exclaimed as Sally woke up.

"Okay, Buddy, what's the trouble?" she asked, rubbing her eyes.

"I can't sleep," Buddy replied.

Sally turned to Buddy in anger.

"So you woke me up from my amazing dream with Cary Grant to tell me you can't sleep?" she asked.

"Not so loud! You'll wake up everybody! Yes, I can't sleep," Buddy replied.

"What do you want me to do about it?" Sally asked.

"I don't know! Massage my feet! According to your list, you haven't done that yet," Buddy suggested.

Sally rolled her eyes.

"Buddy, I'm not going to massage your feet and that's final. You have very nasty feet," Sally told him.

"Fine! If you won't do that, can you at least sing a lullaby to me?" Buddy asked.

Sally was not up for it, but she would do anything for her best friend.

"Okay. Lie down, I'm gonna sing you a lullaby," Sally replied.

Once Buddy laid down, Sally sang him "Twinkle Twinkle, Little Star". Buddy cut her off immediately because he was not enjoying it.

"No, not that song!" Buddy complained.

"What song?" Sally asked.

"How about "Rockabye Baby"? I'd rather you'd sing that!" Buddy suggested.

Sally then began singing "Rockabye Baby". Buddy was satisfied with the idea.

This kept going until Sally finished the song and she noticed Buddy fell asleep.

"Thank God!" she whispered, going back to sleep.

The next day….

Everyone was in the kitchen having breakfast.

"Now I mean it! We have to get the entire script done! No exceptions!" Mel exclaimed.

"Don't worry, Mel! We're going to get it done," Rob replied.

"I know you and Sally will be on top of it! I just hope that trained ape is too," Mel added.

"I have an idea! I'm going to count how many times you call me a trained ape," Buddy told Mel.

"Now, stop with the arguing, fellas! I wanna get started on the script!" Sally exclaimed.

"Does anybody need anything?" Laura asked.

"Yes, I need some looser pants," Sally replied.

"How's your foot, Buddy?" Laura asked, ignoring Sally's question.

"I don't know! I haven't walked on it yet," Buddy replied.

"Enough joking around! We have a show to do!" Rob exclaimed.

"So, where were we?" Buddy asked.

"Buddy, you had the idea of the outdoor sketch," Rob said.

"Oh yeah, we stopped where Alan was tripping over the bricks," Buddy added.

"Finally, you guys are getting somewhere with the script!" Mel cheered.

Just then, Laura begins to mess with Sally's hair.

"Sally, have you thought of trying something else with your hair? Like getting rid of the bow?" Laura asked.

"No, why would I do that?" Sally replied.

"Well, I was just asking. Although, I think you should," Laura suggested.

"Now listen, Laura! I like my hair the way it is!" Sally exclaimed.

"You don't have to change it because of me," Laura replied.

Rob interrupted the conversation.

"Ahem! Honey, can we get to work?" Rob asked.

"Oh! Of course!" Laura exclaimed, leaving the kitchen.

"So, where were we?" Rob asked.

"Alan trips over the bricks," Sally told him.

"Right, then a mailman helps him up," Rob suggested.

"A mailman? That's a great idea! He could be one of those mailmen who whistle while throwing the newspapers to other people's front lawns," Sally added, demonstrating her idea.

The boys cheered as Sally stopped demonstrating and sat back down.

"Then, the mailman says, 'Woah, that was quite a fall! It was greater than Humpty Dumpty!' I think Alan is going to love that!" Buddy exclaimed.

"That line is actually funny! Good one, trained ape!" Mel replied as Sally began typing.

"Okay, that's the second time today," Buddy said, counting how many times Mel called him a trained ape.

Just then, Laura came back in the kitchen just to do Sally's hair. Sally didn't even notice because she was too busy typing, but Rob did.

"Honey, I thought we talked about this already," Rob told her.

"Don't worry, Rob! You four can pretend I'm not even here!" Laura replied.

"Then, Alan can have a conversation with the mailman!" Sally suggested as she was still typing.

"What's he going to say?" Buddy asked.

"I'm not saying this word for word at the moment and it'll be written better than said on the script, but he could ask if it's a nice day and he can also ask if it's a great day to take a walk!" Sally replied as she finished typing that dialogue.

"Then, the mailman can suggest Alan goes swimming! Then, we can go into a swimming sketch!" Buddy suggested.

"That's a great idea, Buddy!" Rob exclaimed.

"What's going to be so funny about a swimming sketch, trained ape?" Mel asked.

"Three!" Buddy counted.

"Oh, Buddy," Sally replied in annoyance.

"Well, there could be steps in the pool and Alan trips over one of them," Rob suggested, demonstrating it.

Everyone began laughing minus Laura who was only paying attention to Sally's hair.

"Question, who's pulling my hair?" Sally asked.

"Maybe it's the trained ape!" Mel replied.

"That's four!" Buddy added.

"I'm very sorry! I won't play with your hair anymore!" Laura exclaimed, rushing out the kitchen.

"You got your answer!" Rob said.

"I had no idea she was in here," Sally told him.

"Well, I'm glad!" Rob exclaimed.

"Okay, enough! Can we please get back to work? We have a deadline we missed and we ought to make up for it!" Mel shouted.

"We're the ones writing the script! I don't know why you're even here, Curly!" Buddy teased.

Mel glared at him, which intimidated Buddy.

(Time skip)

"Thank God that script is finished!" Rob exclaimed.

"Yeah, I wanna go home!" Buddy complained.

"How are you going to get home?" Sally asked.

"A cab!" Buddy replied.

"The traffic is insane today! There is no way you're getting a cab!" Rob exclaimed.

"Rob, is your car fixed yet?" Mel asked.

"Laura just called a mechanic and he's coming right over to fix my car. However, it is going to take the rest of the day," Rob told him.

"So, I have to stay another night?" Sally asked.

"Yes, you have to stay here another night unless you want to stand outside in the cold and wait for a cab, which will take forever," Rob replied.

"Now what am I going to wear tomorrow?! I can't wear the same thing again!" Sally complained.

"What's the big deal? You're going home tomorrow and you can change at home," Rob told her.

"I have a date tonight! I can't go out like this!" Sally added.

"Oh boy," Buddy replied, adding an eye roll.

"Why don't you wear the same dress you wore yesterday?" Rob asked.

"I would have to take it to the cleaners and the cleaners are clo-," Sally hit her hand on a cup on Buddy's coffee, knocking it over and spilling it on Laura's slacks. She freaked out.

"Oh no!" she cried.

"Look at that, you ruined my coffee!" Buddy complained.

"Oh Buddy, she didn't mean to," Rob replied.

Just then, Laura arrived to the kitchen.

"I heard something break! What happened?" she asked.

"Honey, nothing broke! Sally spilled some coffee on your pants," Rob told her.

"I'm so sorry, Laura! I'll make it up to you," Sally apologized.

Laura began laughing.

"Oh Sally, that's okay! I was getting rid of those anyway! Here, I have some more unwanted clothes in my room! Come with me!" Laura ordered, grabbing Sally's hand as the two leave the kitchen.

"I think she ruined my potato chips," Buddy added.

Rob and Mel gave Buddy an annoyed look.

The next day…

Rob's car was fixed and he took everyone home. Laura was relieved that everyone was gone, even Buddy.

Just then, Rob got home.

"Hi honey," Rob said.

"Hello darling! Aren't you glad they're gone?" Laura asked.

"Well, I wouldn't say glad, but I'm relieved," Rob replied.


End file.
